On the Road Again - Genie

It was a hot and muggy Tuesday morning. Every time we looked out the window, rain started to fall. We promised Roxi we'd meet her for lunch at the vegetarian restaurant and so I got ready to go while Amanda grabbed coffees for the three of us.

We met, sopping wet, at the vegetarian restaurant near Roxi's school. Roxi had already bought them out of our favorite not-meat meat sticks (they taste heavenly). We got spring rolls stolen from Indonesia and a curry with rice to go with our sticks. Honest to goodness, you'd never know any of this food was vegetarian and even if you love meat, you'd eat there every meal of your life for the rest of your life. They don't repeat recipes hardly ever, according to our inside source: The Roxistar Food Critic.

We ate to bursting before our last 3G1M experience in Nong Khai.

Then Amanda and I drove back home.

Out apartment was almost all the way packed. We finished the last of it, got our bags outside and somewhere dry (I'll remind you it's monsoon season and it was definitely monsoon-ing.), and gave the apartment one last wipe-down.

Then we made our way to the train station. The first load was myself, Amanda, a purse between my legs, and Amanda held two suitcases (one on each side like a bodybuilder - it was badass). Amanda stayed at the station while I did five more loads by myself. The most hilarious one was when I put my giant blue suitcase in the crevice where my legs should have been, put a backpack on my back, and "surfed" on the moped from the apartment to the station.

Then while Amanda watched our belongings, I went into town to check out of our apartment and return the moped. It all went smoothly and I even got a picture of both my main squeezes:

The lovely man who rented us the moped drove me back to the train station and Amanda and I set in for a long afternoon of waiting while it rained around us. She read a book, I eavesdropped what little Thai I could pick up while writing a letter to my cousin Mary.

We also so the most un-Thai event while waiting. A homeless man had been camped out across a bench and as more and more passengers showed up the more people needed a place to sit. A station police officer came to wake this man up and was soon assisted by a station employee. We were both uncomfortable by the directness and rudeness that was being exhibited while trying to get this man to move. Normally, a Thai person would wake him up, give him some sticky rice, a 20 baht note, and also call him a TukTuk.

Roxi showed up around 6 with sticks and vegetables. We sat and chatted for 90 minutes until our train pulled up. PP would have wanted me to tell you that it was a silver train with one orchid stripe and one purple stripe. He would have full details for you, but I do not. I can only tell you that we were Car 5: Bunks 15 and 16.

Roxi and a lovely train assistant helped us get our bags up and into our seats before we sat in the air conditioning to cool off. I'm not sure how, but somehow we have the same amount of belongings on that train back down as the time we took it up. However, I know for a fact, we bought a lot in Nong Khai. It makes me feel very good about both our packing skills and how much we've managed to parse.

We had a tearful goodbye on the station (ok Amanda and Roxi did). I feel like I left a piece of my heart in Nong Khai and another with the dear friend waving from the station. She even wrote us little goodbye notes tailored to both of us.

It was an overnight train leaving at 8pm and arriving at 6am. We got to Bangkok about 1/2 an hour late. I'm sure you've noticed a pattern here in Thailand. We got a taxi to the apartment complex that our friends Martin and Johann live in and we camped in the lobby until we could sneak up to the second floor.

We hung out by the pool for the rest of the afternoon waiting for the boys to return home. We ate dinner with them and around 6 a woman named Ann swung by to let us into our new apartment. That's right, we have a new abode!

We live in a 24 square meter apartment. That is about a 258 square foot apartment and considering it's a large square, it means we're living in a 16'x16' room.

This is the cutest shoebox I've ever lived in!

When we talk about it, we split it into 4 or 5 sections. For this blog, I'll say 5.

1. Porch
2. Kitchen
3. Bathroom
4. Living Room
5. Bedroom

I even made this handy visual:

1. Porch - outside. Still counts for square footage in the apartment! If you think about it, our apartment is 258 square feet. The porch is 7'x3' = 21 square feet. 258-21=237. 

If you'd like some context for how small this amount of space looks like in other contexts, click here!

a. Small table that holds anything so long as we don't mind it getting wet
b. Washing machine - no drier, those don't exist here
c. Rack to hold drying laundry on hangers
d. Sliding glass door between the inside and the outside

2. Kitchen

e. Small table that fits two very close chairs for eating
f. Apartment sized fridge with a freezer!
g. Sink #1 (WE HAVE A SINK)
h. Countertop
i. Cupboard storage for kitchen goods

3. Bathroom

j. Shower complete with hot water!
k. Sink #2 (WE HAVE TWO SINKS)
l. Toilet

4. Living Room

m. Small shelf we've turned into our Pinterest-worthy shelf
n. Television (it came with the apartment. We did not buy it.)
o. Cabinets
p. Shoe storage
q. Front door
r. Table that springs up to double as a desk
s. Couch that lays down into a full size bed (come visit us and test it out!)
t. Couch-side table

5. Bedroom

u. Bed (approximately a queen)
v. Air conditioner
w. Closet
x. Sliding door segment - clear
y. Sliding door segment - clear
z. Sliding door segment - opaque

I did not plan this to have exactly the alphabet in our apartment, but it is making me incredibly happy.

The apartment complex also has a small restaurant for take away food, a gym, and a salt water pool!

I do mean to brag when I say that our apartment is completely unpacked in these pictures.

The move was long and hot, but the apartment is adorable and I really think we're going to love the little hole we found! The only thing that made it better was getting to video chat with Alex this morning!

American Horror Story: MediaKids ~ Amanda

We quit our jobs. The reason: MediaKids.

The sinking feeling began day one when we were cornered at orientation to accept different positions than we were initially offered. They wanted us to give them a response on the spot we told them we needed to think about it over night. We told them yes the next morning but learned that our original positions had already been offered and accepted by others at our orientation before we had said yes.

Honestly, the whole orientation process was a load of B.S. minus the work visa paperwork. We spent three whole days confined, being lectured, and receiving a lot of useless information. We got our contracts and that has proven to be the most useful piece of paper from orientation.

Orientation ended on a Saturday and we started teaching on Monday. We had no curriculum, no books, no class schedule, and no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

I honestly have felt like I've been trying to play catch-up since day one.

By the end of our first full week of teaching I had received an email from our human resources representation that "my teaching needed to improve or I would be put on a probationary period." Of course I freaked out. I was essentially being told that I sucked at a new job that I had never done before with absolutely no guidance. The first of many instances that I was grateful for Genie.

Our MK curriculum consultant, Trent, arrived the following week for our first observation and to help us out with any issues we were having. By this point in time we had still not received our curriculum, we had no idea if we were teaching what we were supposed to be, and I felt as if I was marching towards the gallows.

My observation was scheduled for day 1 and Genie's on day 2. I felt like it went well and got some positive feedback from Trent later that afternoon. Day 2 arrives and 3 minutes before my first class he tells us that the school wants him to observe me twice and not Genie at all. Cue me freaking out and Genie being pissed (she had planned a really cool class for this observation and had every right to be angry). Second observation went better than the first but I was still on edge because there was still the possibility that I could be let go.

Towards the end of Day 2 we sat down for a meeting with Trent to "discuss" any concerns or issues we had. At this point, we all commented on the lack of curriculum to which we got a "we're working on it" response. Genie brought up her work load, which was ridiculous for what we were being paid. For those of you who have taught, Genie had 18 preps each week and I had 15, 3 of her preps were also for 2 hour classes. Her concerns were shrugged off and she was essentially told to "deal with it."

The following week we learn that our lesson plans for the entire month of May were due by the end of that week. Now this was probably the third week of May so it wasn't a ridiculous request but our contracts stipulates that they are due every other week. So we spent our evenings busting our butts to finish lesson plans by the deadline.

We keep moving forward. Spending about 80% of our weekend in Lofter working on lesson plans. Our only reprieve was the Saturday night market. It's still my favorite part of the week.

Jump ahead to our Lao Visa Run. This was the only thing that MediaKids did accurately. They took care of the paperwork and the photos we needed. We had no issues with this one bit.

June brought another lesson plan deadline from Trent...this was for the entire semester due at the end of June. I told my mother, a recently retired teacher, about this and she was shocked by this 'mandate.' You can guess what our weeknights and weekends looked like. This was again a violation of our contract.

Towards the end of June, Genie sent an email to the HR team reaching out about our issues. In this email she made sure to reference the two contract violations (lesson plans and the fact that we got paid on a different day than what our contract said). She made sure to reference how much time she was working outside of school hours, the lack of help from our curriculum consultant, the fact that she repeatedly did not receive lab materials, and the additional competition we were required to help some of our students with. She asked that they re-evaluate pay and look into compensation for the extra work we all had to do otherwise she would resign. Four days later she received an acknowledgment email that they had received her email.

This is where we left off with MK when we went on our school's Military break and our vacation...if you haven't read the post about our vacay you should.

This vacation turned into a working vacation. We were complaining to the boys (Martin and Johan - see post about our Visa run for how we met them) about our work situation. By this point, we had already decided that we were leaving MK and would be looking for jobs in Bangkok for the next semester. It turned out that we both interviewed for new jobs on vacation.

Out MK contracts state that if we resign with a 30 day notice we won't lose our final pay check. Genie had a start day of early September for her new job which meant that we wanted to be done with MK by mid-August with enough time to move. We did the math and submitted our resignations in mid-July so that our final day of teaching would be the last day of this aforementioned competition. MK responded within 4 hours to this email.

Thus begins a months worth of emails, line messages, and phone calls from MK. MK had already had two teachers quit at PTK and having two more would be a further detriment. We were offered a measly 2,000 baht raise to start...about $65. We turned that down.

In the meantime, we noticed that our jobs had been posted and they were stating a 50,000 baht salary. This was screenshot and sent to MK. They responded with some rehearsed jargon about offering more to someone who was coming in to take over a class mid-way into the semester. An offer was made which we rejected (I don't remember what this one was for because I deleted the email).

As a last stitch effort MK offered us 50,000 baht for our last month of the contract, by this point we were both irritated and were firm in our decision to leave. We didn't respond. This resulted in me being bombarded by line messages by our HR consultant, Ejeanne, asking if I'd seen the email, when they should expect a response, etc. These messages were coming to me on the weekend. I eventually responded to one message saying that it was the weekend, that I thought it was rude to contact me this way, and that she would get a response Monday morning during business hours.

Monday morning I responded with a "thanks but no thanks" and continued along my day. I felt a wave a of relief and continued working on the last few classes I needed to prep including prepping three days for a substitute due to the upcoming competition.

One afternoon I was busy working on a power point presentation when Tum, our PTK/MK liaison and English coordinator (whose English is that of a kindergartner), interrupts me shoving his cell phone in my face. He tells me some lady is on the phone for me, I didn't recognize the name and asked him to repeat. He then responded that is was the CEO of MK. I huffed and grabbed the phone.

This resulted in a nearly 25 minute conversation of her practically begging us to stay, she asked me about 7 times to stay. She wanted to know why we were leaving to which I responded, there was an email sent back in June that outlined our reasons and she should ask her HR department to see it. The best part of this conversation was Genie writing funny things to me on notebook paper while I dealt with this woman. By the time I finally got her to hang up my day and motivation was ruined.

Genie learned one day via a conversation with one of our co-Thai teachers that MK told the school we were leaving because we were homesick and were going back to the States. This was an out right lie. MK had already lost so much face with PTK I'm not surprised that they lied.

We were pretty much left alone for awhile which I was grateful for. The next time we saw any MK people was our last weekend with PTK when we had parent/teacher conferences. We avoided them like the plague and refused to wear our MK uniform. The only thing we were told to do regarding our departure was to let our HR rep know when we were leaving the country so they could cancel our work permit as they have 15 days to do so after we leave. Noted.

We had a list of of things we needed to finish before the end of our contract; returning the ipads, leaving our current grades for the new teachers, a note for them, and leaving all of books. Pretty easy to do...of course we got multiple reminders which is annoying. I don't need you to hold my hand, MK.

We are now done with MK...or so we thought. It turns out that Genie's new school has been having some hiccups with obtaining her new work visa because MK never actually submitted our work visa's with the Thai government. Great. This is still being resolved while we wait for the all-clear.

If you are reading this post because you are wondering if MediaKids Academy is right for you here's a few things to consider:

• The non-B visa process was a good experience and they did this well
• This organization is geared toward recent college graduates 
• We get informed of things before it is already too late for us to know about it
• Communication is horrid (both with expediency and English fluency)
• They claim to care about their teachers but I never felt cared for once
• They will corner you and ask for an immediate answer regarding location, pay, etc 
• Sometimes they will unexpectedly show up at your apartment without warning or invite at odd hours of the day
• They state that they have a curriculum but often tell you that what you've been doing with said curriculum is wrong
• They say that you won't need a security deposit for your apartment but will most likely need 2,000 to 4,000 for this
• Stipend and reimbursement are not the same thing...though MK thinks they are
• You don't get paid right away, take more money than you think you'll need to for early expenses (see our post about budget for specifics) 

Some of our orientation class got lucky and have been enjoying their semester in Thailand. Congrats to them. I truly am happy that they had the experience they signed on for. We did not.

Memes by Genie to further personify the experience.

The Second Coming - Genie

Of an immigrant non-b visa, that is.

As you may have heard, Amanda and I are heading to Bangkok. The cause of the move is new jobs and new opportunities. The result is needing new visas. Every time you get a new job in Thailand, you have to assemble a mountain of red-tape paperwork, cross the country's boarder, enter a different nation, and apply for a new visa.

I got a job teaching Anuban at Ek Burapa in MinBuri, Thailand. MinBuri is a suburb of Bangkok proper and is about a 34km (21mi) drive to the heart of the city. As an equivalence, we're about 21 miles from the heart of the Washington, D.C. of Thailand.

In true Thai style, this means a new pile of paperwork and another visa run. Luckily, my new school was very accommodating with my new paperwork. They did all of it for me. All of it. If anyone has ever gotten a mortgage through conventional underwriting since the changes made around 2009, you'll know what that stack of disclosures looks like. That's what a non-b visa application looks like. And just like in mortgage underwriting, one mistake and you get the big, old REJECT.

On the evening of Wednesday, August 21st, Amanda and I got back from possibly the worst school trip ever. The result of no planning and no communication in English meant that instead of getting back promptly at 2pm, we got back closer to 5pm. I was planning on crossing the boarder that night, so I jumped on the moped and made my way to the bus station. Unfortunately, I had already missed the last bus, so I met up with Roxi and Amanda for sticks and banana pancakes for dinner. It was actually really nice to see Roxi and relax after such a long 3 days from home.

We went home after dinner and I got up early the next morning. I shot straight to the bus station and found out that I needed a Laos visa in order to take a bus. I needed to take a tuk tuk to the border and cross the old fashioned way: by horrifically sketchy bus.

Now this process is not one to be rushed. It's intimidating and you should really allow yourself about 2-3 hours to get from Nong Khai to Vientiane (the capital city of Laos). I got moving around 6:30am and finally got a tuk tuk to the border at 7:15am. I arrived at the edge of Thailand around 7:40am. My appointment was at 9am.

I was approached by a man before the boarder who said he could get me to the Thai consulate before my appointment for 1500B (50USD). I laughed and kept walking saying 'no thank you' (mai pen rai) and 'too expensive' (pheng kien pie).

Thai people really perk up when they notice you're trying to butcher their language and don't you worry, I BUTCHER THE THAI LANGUAGE. Roxi will verify this. I was saying 'no thank you' wrong for three months.

He continued following me and was now chittering in Thai. Like my students, I know when someone is asking questions and I can look at a face for the correct response. It also helps that the Thai language phrases questions that require a yes/no response in the following form:

"Statement." "Yes/No?"

For instance, at a restaurant, a server might ask "phet chai mai?"

Phet: spicy
Chai: yes
Mai: no

It makes this difficult, tonal language just a tiny bit easier.

He was joking with me about price. Luckily, bartering here is similar to how it works in Mexico. He said 1500, I countered with 500, and we settled on 800.

Now normally this would be super expensive, but I was a girl on a mission and I had less than 90 minutes and that included a 30 minute drive. Off we went. First through Thai exit immigration, onto a very sketchy bus where I was quite literally OUTSIDE the bus holding onto a metal bar with my left hand and a little girl's hand with my right, (She looked very nervous for me and offered me her hand. It was 0% reassuring to me to hold a 4 year old Thai girl's hand, but she was cute and the sentiment was appreciated.), and then through Laos entrance immigration. It costs 1600B (52USD) to get into Laos as an American. Then Jip (pronounced Gee and then close your lips like you're making the letter p but WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T PRONOUNCE THE LAST CONSONANT SOUND OF A THAI WORD.) put me into his van (yes Mom, I got into a van with a complete stranger. The number of times I should have been killed here is fascinating. I have no idea how I'm still alive.) and off we went.

His English was bad. My Thai is horrific. It actually makes for amusing conversation because you can only talk about very limited topics in either language. The time passed quickly and he dropped me off right in front of the Thai Royal Consulate at 8:35am.

Myself and some others in line chatted aimlessly for the next 25 minutes waiting for the consulate to open, but in true Thai style, it didn't actually open until 9:30am.

The paperwork at the Thai Consulate went very quickly. They needed a slightly different photo and a copy of my work permit which were acquired for 150B. Then I was off. The paperwork was out of my hands and all I had to do was chill in the capital city of Laos for 29 hours until I could pick my passport back up.

I headed to a coffee shop (for some much required caffeine internet as my Thai sim card didn't work in Laos) and looked up where some hostels in the city were. Also, for good measure, I looked up some fun, walking-distance locations.

Walking off in the direction of the first hostel on my list, I made rather a b-line. It was already muggy and over 100 degrees outside and it wasn't even 11am. I needed food, water, and my backpack not on my back. The map ended up not being as accurate as I thought it was going to be and I ended up wandering aimlessly for about 2 miles before I found the TINIEST little vertical building with the right name on the front.

I promise I'll add photos later, but I'm blogging on Amanda's computer as mine acts as a Netflix device.

**Change of heart about an hour later. I don't think Amanda is going to mind some extra photos in her computer.

If she has complaints she can put them in these provided brackets:

[[ ... ]]

I walked into the building and was immediately at home.

It was a cafe.

This was the toilet!

I walked to the back and asked for a room. 250B for a shared bunk and 250B for a deposit. That's 16USD for both a bed for a night, unlimited hot water, air conditioning, access to Wifi, and the promise that so long as I was respectful and clean, I'd get 8$ back the next day.

That's a deal if I've ever heard of one.

I checked out my bunk: the upper loft in a 10'x10' room with 2 other bunk beds. I noted that the girl directly under me was the girl who stood 2 people in front of me in line at the consulate. She was working quietly on a laptop with headphones in so I organized my things, grabbed my small pack, and went off to explore the city.

Due to the fact that there were always people in the room, I felt it disrespectful to take pictures. So there are no pictures of the room outside my mind.

However, here is one of the courtyard:

And another of the balcony:

And for good measure, one of the HORRIFYING construction two streets over:

In the wise words of Thailand:

Safty. First.

That hurts every time I type it.

I went walking until I saw an art gallery. It's the brown building behind the green building.

Turns out it was just a store that sold kichy items. I got about a quarter of my way through the place and found the cutest carved elephant for Amanda before a woman bustled her way up to me shouting "pay to look. 50,000 kip to look!" (50,000K = 5.75USD) That's a lot of money for Laos. That would buy me a fancy coffee AND a fancy sandwich at an air conditioned bistro and she was certainly not yelling the same thing at the Lao man who walked in two minutes before me as I was looking at the outside of the "store".

I looked at her, held up the small elephant, (which was more money than she was asking for me to stay) and said "buy" ('suh' in Thai and Thai is about 70% similar to Lao according to the front desk guy at my hostel). She shook her head and said "50,000 kip to look. Then buy!"

I laughed at her, put down the elephant, laughed, and walked out.

I kept wandering until I got to what I wanted my destination to be: the Laos History Museum. Online, reviews said that most of it was translated to English!

When I got there, I found it to be true! The sign on the front saying "we've moved but we haven't opened our new location" was indeed in English.

:(

So I took some pictures of a different building and kept moving:

Next I found the Laos National Opera Theater!

Do you see how the front door is open?

Do you think I was able to resist that?

You're correct. The answer was no.

You better bet I got up on that stage and sang my favorite French tune: Nuit d'etoiles by Debussy.

A woman I did not see when entering the building stepped out of a side room by the entrance, clapped, and nodded me toward the door. I smiled and left. My work there was done. She clapped. I believe that makes me an international performer?

Don't question this.

Let me have my moment.

I kept walking, found the presidential palace, the US Embassy (I had some questions regarding my passport but they weren't open... sigh), and Patuxai.

Patuxai is a victory monument for all the people who fought for Laos independence from France in the late 1950's and early 1960's. If you want to read more about it, click here!

Otherwise, have some pictures:

From far away, it looks majestic. From close in, you can tell they've put 0 effort into the upkeep and they actually acknowledge that with a large sign inside.

On the bright side, it's 7 stories high and you can climb them.

Guess what I did next?

I walked around the rest of the park.

But then afterwards, I came back and explored all seven stories!

It was majorly cool. And there was a giant rainstorm while I was inside that I managed to avoid by looking at trinkets for sale.

I continued on my mission to the first ever temple built in historic Vientiane.

For years, monks and civilians had been restoring the temple using modern tools and bricks, but about 75 years ago, the city made the decision to stop making repairs on the stupa and let it become "one with nature" according to the sign posted nearby.

At this point, I was exhausted and also hadn't eaten since dinner on Wednesday and drank any water since ... dinner on Wednesday. I'd also walked about 13km (according to my fitness app that doesn't register on Pokemon Go. So no, I got no eggs hatched during this time. Sigh.).

I headed back to the hostel and brought my grand walk total up to 13.8km (8.6mi).

I got back and hopped into the NICEST SHOWER I've ever experienced in a hotel, let alone a hostel. There were people and again with the respect and pictures angle, I shall not be providing them. But they're locked in my memory and it was my 2nd hot shower in Asia. I was very happy.

Back on the ground floor and squeaky clean, I had my headphones, The Sawbones Book, and very sore feet.

I ordered a pot of Earl Grey tea and a salmon salad, sat back, threw on my Youtube mix, and read my book until the coffee shop closed at 8pm.

**Completely unrelated side note: my WSU Mac laptop finally died. I cannot recover it and will need someone much smarter than me to hopefully get it back to functional (also materials and the ability to communicate with someone who can sell them to me... that's the biggest issue).

However, for now, I've lost my iTunes library AND all my audiobooks. It's a DISASTER because I also had to wipe my phone when I was having phone issues. Goodbye, audiobooks. Goodbye, gigs of torrented music. Goodbye, moon. **

And back to the story at hand:

I went up to bed and settled into my bunk. It had fantastic blackout curtains and everyone in the room was very respectful of noise levels. You could have heard a pin drop and there were 6 adult women in a 10'x10' room!

I read for an hour or so before falling asleep.

The next morning I awoke to one of the other lady's alarms. Due to the grumbling I heard from around me, the other four were also not happy about an alarm being snoozed five times at 6:30am. This got most of the other people up and moving.

I don't know if anyone reading this blog has seen me voluntarily out of bed before 9am, but it's literally unheard of.

I went back to sleep and got up at 10:30am to an empty room. It was glorious.

Pickup time for visas was starting at 1:30pm. Checkout was noon.

I checked out about 11am and ordered breakfast from the coffee shop. It was free because I stayed the night before. It was included in the extravagant 8USD I spent on the room.

The options were Lao breakfast or cereal and I crossed my fingers for unsweetened milk and was rewarded!

I walked back to the Thai consulate. The only entertaining thing on my walk was being bit by a dog. No, it didn't break the skin. I don't think I'm rabid - yet!

I arrived and realized I was a whopping 90 minutes early for the 1:30pm pickup. I pulled out a deck of cards and started playing solitaire. Then a man came out from the consulate and asked to see my cards. He read my fortune in the cards. His English was decent: definitely not good, but better than my Thai. Apparently his mother is a fortune teller.

He then left to find some lunch and came back when I was on my 3rd game of solitaire. His game was definitely not improved after half a sandwich. He proceeded to ask me out.

More literally, he asked me to say with him in Vientiane for the night and he would show me the city. The conversation was as follows:

Thai Man: "You stay night. I show you city."

Me: "No thank you."

TM: "What name?"

M: "Genie"

TM: "J-i-n-i?"

M: "Yes."

TM: "You have boyfriend?"

M: "No."

TM: "You have husband?"

M: "No."

TM: "Then you stay here. You get visa?"

M: "I do not know yet. I am waiting for visa at 1:30."

TM: "I will see if you approve. Then you stay with me?"

M: "No, thank you."

TM: "Name Jini. I check. Then girlfriend."

M: "No, thank you. Mai pen rai."

TM: "You say no husband. I to be boyfriend."

M: *now frustrated* "No. Mai."

TM: "But you say no husband."

Me: *pulls out phone*

Me: *pulls up most adorable picture I possess of myself and Amanda*

Me: *shows him phone*

Me: "No husband. Girlfriend."

TM: "Good picture. Friend?"

Me: *actively frustrated*

Me: *spots girl who was in the bunk below me walking up to the consulate*

Me: "Picture. Wife. No husband. Wife."

Me: *gathers cards very quickly and excitedly walks up to complete stranger I've seen around Vientiane about 4 times over the past day*

Me: *sends wishes to every diety I don't believe in that this girl speaks English as well as a pale ginger stereotypically should*

Me: *speaks as quickly as I can while approaching a complete stranger*

Me: "OMG! How are yo-- please pretend to be my friend this man is scaring me and I do not want to continue talking to him-- I haven't seen you in forever, I didn't realize you were doing a visa trip!"

Her name turned out to be Rachel and we ended up chatting well past when TM went back into the consulate. I don't even know if she heard what I was saying as I walked up to her, but the lady code was at its strongest that afternoon.

Rachel and I made our way through the visa line when the consulate opened, late, around 2pm. I got my visa and she got hers. She's working at a university in Chang Mai. We ended up splitting a van back to Nong Khai and having a glorious chat. We both agreed that if we were in each other's cities, we would hit the other up for a free place to stay. We also saw two herds of cows cross the road, a lost goat standing in an intersection, and a woman driving a moped with a handful of dead chickens swinging from the hand that she didn't need for the accelerator. It was quite the drive.

I got back into Nong Khai around 3pm on Friday afternoon.

All together, it was an incredibly successful visa trip. A special shout out to my new HR department for perfect paperwork, a wonderful hostel, my gym shoes that have gone through more than they ever deserved, Rachel, and the lost goat.