There are many aspects you can prepare for when choosing to live abroad: visa, money exchange, climate, packing, etc. Heck, even knowing that you'll be immersing yourself into a culture and a language that you, most likely, do not know, you can be somewhat prepared for. These may seem daunting at first, trust me, they aren't. In the big picture, those are the easy things. You can make lists.
You can't make lists for the emotional or mental aspects.
When you live abroad it tests your relationships with your family and friends.
As I have been saying, "Living in Thailand, helped me realize how many friends I actually have."
Now, this is not 'Amanda is having a pity party blog,' thing. When you move to a foreign country and are out of peoples general vicinity, I guess you lose touch? IDK. At least, I could see that being an issue before the internet. How difficult is it to respond to messages or emails? I don't know? I find it easy, but that's my personality. I will also say that I have always been the initiator in my friend groups, the planner, the one that texted and planned things. I always asked people how they were doing, reaching out.
For other people, this is difficult. I have learned this and feel no ill-will towards anyone who is not like me.
One day, I was asked why I was the only one doing any communication with my 'friends' and I started thinking about that why. I did a little experiment. Turns out if you don't message your supposed 'best friend' she won't reach out to you for nearly a year and a half.
Yes, I know we all outgrow friendships. That is fine. We treasure the memories we have. We move on.
Another aspect about living abroad you can somewhat prepare for is culture shock. There are plenty of YouTube videos of your respective country to give you and idea of what you're walking into. What I didn't expect...the culture shock of coming back to the states.
The re-acclimation.
It's weird. I miss so many things about Thai culture that I wish were adopted by America culture. Mainly hospitality, bum hoses, street vendors, free health care, and actual spicy food.
If you are an avid reader of our previous posts you'll know about my weight loss and skin removal surgeries, therefore, I'm now around people who knew me before. I'm constantly stopped and told how amazing I look and how inspiring I am. I'm not quite sure how that makes me feel nor how to respond. I generally say thank you and run away awkwardly. I get asked a lot how I lost the weight. I am working of play, hopefully I'll finish it and will perform it for y'all.
Everyone is obsessed with my eating habits. I don't eat much and and only eat when I'm hungry. For some reason that's weird. If you feel so inclined just give me some veggies or fruit.
I'm not the same person I was when I left in May of '19 for Thailand. I'm more confident, happier, defiant, outspoken, and with more gumption. People aren't expecting that. People are expecting the nice, door-mat that left. I'm not her anymore. So, once again, I'm losing friends because I'm having the gall to stand up for myself. Shocker. So, as my lovely wife says, "Were they really your friend to begin with then?" She makes a good point. (This is when you get to use you 'I told you so' button) The last few weeks have revealed many friendships are dying and old me would have sent message after message to try to preserve them. Now, I don't see the point. Why bother, I've made efforts and none of these people have. It's not worth my time.
Now, are these negatives? No. They are simply things that I wasn't prepared to cope with. Therapy helps.
If you are still reading. Mazel tov.
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