If you're settling in to read this, grab your coffee now. This is going to be a long one.
Apparently for 2 weeks every summer several schools around Thailand close for "military break." From my limited understanding, M4-M6s (10-12th graders) are required to attend specialized military training and it rotates around schools in the areas which closes down that particular school. This year happened to be our school which meant that we got a two week vacation. Woo hoo!
The only thing we knew we wanted to do was go to the beach. There are not beaches in or near Nong Khai and frankly we knew that the islands in the South were going to be stunning. We started planning and researching the various islands. The only plans we made were with our friends Martin and Johan (see blog about our visa run to learn about them). We didn't plan anything else of our trip, a first for me, but it sounded fun to just 'go with it.'
Two Thursdays ago was the first day of our break and the start of our journey. Earlier in the day we stopped by the Nong Khai bus station and purchased two, cheap tickets to Bangkok. The bus was supposed to leave a 6:30 pm, so being perpetually early, we arrived a little after 5. About 6:25, we boarded the bus and commandeered two seats at the back of the bus, there was an open space behind us which was nice.
An hour and half later the bus finally departed. I'm learning that a lot of Thailand is a hurry up and wait scenario. This bus has been ranked number 3 on our list for this vacation. It was a similar size to a traditional yellow school bus but with bucket seats that laid almost all the way back. It was uncomfortable, especially when the guy in front of me pushed his seat all the way down and pinned me into my seat.
The bus stopped a few times, once at a 7- 11 where we grabbed some snacks including Ritz crackers with cheese sandwiched between the crackers. We would probably never buy these back home but there's something about them that is oddly satisfying. Sleep doesn't really happen on these buses for either of us.
Remember that open space behind us? Well, Genie attempted to get some sleep by laying on the floor behind us. I'll let her go into more detail about it because she's better at telling it. (Detail: I laid on the floor and some guy kept coming up to me and doing various 'nice' things that came off as relatively creepy. He got me a blanket. Moved the blanket several times so it was covering various parts of me. I really only appreciated his input when he grabbed me and moved me because someone spilled their soup and it was dangerously close to my hair.)
We finally arrived in Bangkok Friday morning around 7:30 am at the main Bangkok bus stations...which is huge! As Genie put it, 'think of it as the Grand Central Station of Thailand.' After trying to figure our way out we grabbed a 'Grab' (Thailand's version of Uber) which we had to do two separate times because grab drivers aren't that great at finding the location you actually pinned for your pickup.
Anyway, after another almost hour in the car we arrived near the hotel we were meeting our friends at for that night. The driver dropped us off at the corner of this little alley and point that our hotel was down there. Great, not creepy one bit. By this time, it was pouring outside and we had only packed one umbrella. We did our best to dart in and our of covered awnings. Genie checking the map when she could and we couldn't find this place. There wasn't a building that looked like a hotel at all so we looked at the map again and figured that we had been dropped off at the back entrance and just needed to walk around the block. Two blocks later we still couldn't this entrance so we messaged Lee, another South African woman staying with all of us at this hotel who has already checked in, and she sent us a pin to the alley we were just in. We trudge back through the puddles and learned that we were one building down from the hotel when we had decided we were in the wrong spot. Both of us feeling a smidge dumb, we checked in, got into our room (technically rooms because they over booked and gave us two single bed rooms instead of the one double we wanted, changed out of our wet clothes, and promptly fell asleep for a few hours. That is correct, I, Amanda Pyfferoen, took a nap. *cue the shocked faces*
After a few hours we ventured out around us and went to small cafe a couple blocks away where we finally got to meet Lee. She's lovely and I was looking forward to hanging out with her for the evening. We got fancy coffee drinks, mine was basically an iced hot chocolate with a nutella whipped cream, no complaints at all! For lunch I had an avocado chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries and devoured it.
The three of us were still exhausted and weren't expecting the boys to arrive for a few more hours still so nap time all around. Ok...this time I didn't nap so instead I watched "The Incredibles 2" in Thai. The boys finally arrived and the 5 of us headed back to the same coffee shop because we had a little time to kill because Martin had to teach an online class before we headed out. We grabbed two taxis and headed towards Koh San Road.
The best way to describe this place is a long street full of restaurants, blaring music full volume, with a ton of tourists around. Honestly, this isn't really my 'scene' but I'm glad to have experienced it. Once our full group arrived we picked one of the restaurants purely because they had cool statues. Neither of us were super hungry so we got mojitos and shared some "spinach dip." We brought cards against humanity with us because we figured we'd finally be in a big enough group to play it. After dinner, we ventured down the street to this little place that served fish bowls, more like buckets, and laughing gas. Yes, laughing gas, like you get at the dentist office. If you decide to partake you get a small or large laughing gas filled balloon. It costs 50B for a small or 100B for a large.
*cue Genie taking over*
Laughing gas was an interesting experience. It made every comment for about 3 minutes as funny as something Bianca Del Rio would say at a comedy show. Other than that, it was more fun to watch other people react to it than it actually was to take it. (I'll let Amanda correct me if she disagrees.) Amanda: I completely agree that it was more enjoyable to watch than partake.
We all headed back to our rooms for the night and promptly crashed.
The next morning we got up. Lee had to go take an exam to get her nursing license accepted in the UK, so the boys and us decided to get breakfast at a little British cafe. We arrived at the cafe to find it had gone out of business. We found other breakfast, but all of us were a little heartbroken. It's hard to find toast over here and we were all CRAVING it.
Then the boys took us back to their apartment.
They live in this adorable complex called The Cube. Their apartment is everything you would want in Bangkok. It's a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom with a small living room and kitchenette. The building has a restaurant, pool, sauna, and workout center.
We chilled with the boys, went grocery shopping, and bummed around their apartment for the rest of the day. We went swimming as soon as possible too (chimed in Pyff the water bug)!
The next day, we got up and made breakfast. We rode on the backs of the boy's mopeds (which were more to the style of motorcycles) to the nearby mall (resembled a small MOA) and checked out the area in general.
RIDING ON THE BACK OF A MOPED IS TERRIFYING WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS.
I did not like not driving. I know. We're all shocked that I did not like being in control of a vehicle. I admit, the back of a moped is much better than the back of a car. It results in much less vomit-y feelings. But it isn't much better.
Sunday afternoon we watched The Lion King with the boys. Then we watched the new episode of America's Got Talent (the boys enjoy that show a lot). After that, the boys headed to bed as they had to teach the next morning.
Amanda and I stayed up to watch the Women's World Cup. It was definitely a game worth watching!
On Monday, the boys went to school and Amanda and I slept in. We spent the morning relaxing in the pool, wandering the area, and deciding where to go for the rest of our vacation. We decided on Pattaya/Koh Larn.
Our Bitmojis made it there. Therefore we were there. ;)
Monday afternoon we headed to the airport to get a bus (counter-intuitive but it worked) to Pattaya. This was the #1 bus of the trip. It was efficient, left on time, didn't make me carsick, I got a nap, and it arrived "on time".
There is no drop off spot in Pattaya. Instead, the bus makes several stops along the town and you get off at the place you think you will be nearest your hotel. Not having a hotel, Amanda and I just looked at the map and randomly decided to get off at stop number 3. We walked about 2 miles before reaching a very large mall. We entered to find something cool to drink.
Bubble tea in hand, we began looking for a hotel. We pulled up maps and just started looking around for places near the beach. We saw a place about 5 blocks away, pulled our backpacks back on, and took off.
We walked along the beach until we arrived at the hotel. We checked in, stripped off our sweat-drenched clothing, and headed back out to the beach. We walked the beach with our shoes in hand and enjoyed the curving skyline of Pattaya City. Amanda said she wanted to head back to the room to look something up (our phones were dead and charging in the room), so we headed back in, took showers, and headed off for the show Amanda looked up while I was in the shower.
We got tickets for a show and walked to the venue. On our way, we stopped for dinner at a little Indian restaurant. When I say I had garlic naan that was to die for, I really do mean that. The rest of the food was also delicious, but held no flame to the perfectly cooked and garlicky bread.
The show was a Trans/Lady Boy (their words, not mine) cabaret show. It was really fun to watch. We had fantastic seats and didn't miss any of the stage show. The only downside was the fact that EVERYONE in the audience except myself and Amanda were on their phones. Even though the recording at the beginning said no photography and no video recording in no less than SIX languages, EVERYONE was recording the show, taking pictures WITH FLASH, and at one point a woman to my right PICKED UP A CALL AND STARTED CHATTING AND THEN VIDEO CHATTING.
***
Amanda's thoughts on the show: So this place performs the same 70 min show 4 times every night and even I say that's got to be exhausting. I totally nerded out a few times watching this show. Thailand clearly does not adhere to Aristotle's 6 rules of Drama by putting spectacle first. I was still enamored with all of the lights, gigantic backdrops, and ornate costumes. There was one futuristic number where the men in the show were covered in lights and on these 'hover-board' roller skates.
***
I do not know how I avoided getting arrested for homicide on this trip.
This is the theater we went to see the show at!
After the show, we headed back to our room, crashed, and awoke on Tuesday morning!
We had previously decided to go to Koh Larn (also spelled Ko Larn or Ko Lan or Koh Lan - but for consistency, I'll say Koh Larn pronounced Co (like Cocoa) Larn (like Lard but with an N at the end). We walked a mile in the blazing heat down Walking Street to get to the pier. Walking Street would be my worst nightmare in the evenings/at night. During the day, it was just creepy. Pattaya is clearly a party city. It is dedicated to drinking, being drunk on the beach, and a wide array of ... very sexualized Thai women. Walking Street is clearly all bars and sex clubs at night. During the day, it's full of stray dogs, construction workers, and two female tourists who clearly do not want to be there. Wait. No. That was just us! ;)
We finally got to the pier and grabbed lunch at another Indian joint. We got chicken biryani that I will probably have dreams about for years and then walked out onto the pier.
At the beginning of the pier there was a ticket booth selling a one way ticket for 200B and a round trip for 250B. Not knowing how this worked, we kept walking until we reached the end of the pier. Good thing we did, because the large ferry cost 30B. We paid, boarded, and waited about 30 minutes for the boat to take off.
The ferry took about 35-40 minutes to take us from Pattaya to Koh Larn.
It's about 7km from the mainland to the island. I had a good seat to see into the water from the ferry and it was simultaneously beautiful and depressing. The amount of plastic and garbage in the water was astronomical. There was never not a segment of sea that didn't have a piece of garbage in it.
We arrived on Koh Larn and rented a moped. 1600B (1000B was a deposit) and a small, yellow moped I jokingly called Bumblebee was ours for the next two days. We drove around the island for a couple hours. The island itself is relatively small, but the middle of it is a mountain. If you've ever been to Lanesboro, you'll understand this: most of Koh Larn drives like the road going up golf course hill.
It was terrifying.
After a decent amount of driving, we decided to start looking for a place to spend the night. We drove around until we saw a road leading toward the ocean that said "vacancy". We went down, introduced ourselves to the owner, and he said he had one room left for the night! We even got a discount on the room because the room cost included the cost of a motorbike!
The room was very small. It was about 14'x14'. It had a very small bathroom just like the one in our apartment. But what it DID have was a glass sliding porch door that led directly out into the ocean. It also had a pug pillow.
The view from the hotel.
We dropped our belongings, grabbed a quick shower, and headed out to the beach.
We went to Nuon Beach. If you check the map above, it's the farthest west. Our hotel was about on the red dot on the bottom in the middle. It was a short 5 minute moped ride away. It also didn't make us drive up the mountain - and I wasn't confident enough to ride up and down that hill in a wet swimsuit.
We spent a couple hours at the beach. The water was perfectly clear, there was minimal garbage, and there were hardly any people there!
Then we went for dinner. We found this restaurant hidden in the side of a hill called the SeaShore Restaurant.
You could say the view was ok. ;)
If you look behind the drink above and the food below, you can see the ocean. As we ate, the tide came in and all of the beach was swallowed by water.
Amanda got calamari fried rice and I got muscle spaghetti. They were both delicious. The drink was a rum and fruit mixer that... I could have just lived off of for the rest of my life.
Conveniently enough, we were on Koh Larn during the low season on a Tuesday-Thursday (the off-days). There was hardly anyone anywhere and it was fantastic.
After dinner, we were going to go for an adventure ride around the island. We hopped on the bike and went down the small dirt path to the road. As we approached the road, I put on my turn signal, stopped, looked and saw an approaching bike, waited for him to pass - but then as he passed me, a dog ran alongside the bike and directly into the road. The man on the bike hit the dog going about 30mph. He was obviously carrying home dinner because he went flying, soup went splattering, and the moped hit the ground with a loud crunch. We think he's ok? He got up and though he wasn't speaking English, he was clearly swearing. He was also covered in soup.
Then Amanda and I decided to go for a walk.
We found a coffee shop that also served ice cream and headed inside.
It was full of teddy bears. It was actually kind of terrifying. However, the tea was delicious, they had green tea ice cream, and didn't complain when we sat and played SkipBo for an hour. We paid and went back to the hotel. When we got back, we sat out on the porch, listened to podcasts and the ocean and played Phase 10. I also finished my mango tea with earl grey jellies.
For the entirety of Wednesday, we were at the beach. We got up early, had breakfast, and got to the beach around 10am. We snagged 2 beach chairs (they charge about 100B/day per chair) and set up shop. The first thing I promptly did after sunscreen was take a nap. I woke up an hour later and decided to check out the little store down the beach. They were renting out goggles for 100B/day. Now that just isn't a deal I can turn down. I grabbed the best looking pair, threw my money at the lady, and disappeared into the ocean until the goggles were due back at 5pm.
Now is when I get to tell you what Koh Larn means.
Koh in Thai means Island.
Larn means Coral.
We were staying on Coral Island. The beach was a small coral reef. I had a pair of goggles.
I'm amazed I even came up for air that whole day. The reef was VERY small. It was maybe 50m long and 2m across. However, it was so beautiful. There were tiny fish that darted in and out of the rocks, pieces of coral moved with the water, sea urchins littered the bottom and the crevasses of rocks. I don't know if you've ever seen a sea urchin before, but they're one of the most stunning animals I've ever seen in person.
***
Amanda's beach adventure: I spent my time on the beach alternating between reading and floating. It was so relaxing. The only negative was the sunburn. At one point we tried to see if I could wear the goggles without my glasses and see any of the reef but that didn't work. Next time, I will acquire some contacts so that I can also enjoy seeing the reef with my own eyes. The people watching was also lovely. We also made friends with this adorable pup we called Friedrich, who we learned day two was indeed a female but figured the name still fit.
***
On Thursday morning, we got up and headed off back to Bangkok. It was a full day of traveling where we went on bus quality #2. We got back to the boy's apartment, jumped in the pool, and spent the evening obnoxiously singing happy birthday to Martin who turned 40.
Johan was in the hospital earlier in the day and it was Martin's birthday. So we had a quiet night in watching more AGT before heading to bed early. Friday morning we got up and made our way back to Nong Khai.
This was the absolute worst part of the trip.
We paid for VIP bus tickets. Leave time was originally 6:30pm. Bus broke down before we could leave the station. Then we were shuffled to another bus and we sat there until 8pm. Then we all had to get off that bus and go to another one. We got there and there weren’t enough seats for everyone. So Amanda and I (and about 8 other people) were brought to yet another bus.
This was the most 1960’s janky bus you’ve ever seen. We were put in the far back with three other people on a seat for four. That bus took off from Bangkok at 10:45pm.
It made stops about every 25-30 minutes where they turned on the lights and spoke over a loudspeaker.
We finally got to Nong Khai about noon on Saturday. We were so ready. We knew we were getting off at the bus station so we waited for the bus to get there.
The bus went right past the bus stop and kept going.
So I RAN and smashed through a whole bus of Thai people to get to the driver. He spoke 0 English. So he dropped us off outside Nong Khai and said “call a Tuk Tuk bye” and left us 3 miles outside of town.
We walked back to the Mut Mee (we parked our bike there before leaving because it was a shorter walk from there to the bus station and we assumed the bike would be safer there. We assumed correctly.) and arrived, sweating our butts off an hour later.
By the time we got home, I needed a shower and a nap - so that's exactly what I did!
It was an amazing trip. Don't let the end fool you. I'll put in some good pictures to make us all feel better.
Rocco the Rock is on an adventure!
