Sunday, January 5, 2020

Our Dental Detour - Genie

We've come here to the land of 1000 smiles (which if you ask me, statistically, for a country of 69 million people, is quite low) and with all that smiling, you show a lot of teeth.

Well, the last time I saw my lovely ladies at the Rushford Dental Clinic was TOO long ago. It was all the way in April. Amanda saw a dentist around the same time I did and we both knew it was time we both had a cleaning. We were both nervous because the water we drink is not fluoridated, the sugar intake here is astoundingly high, and I have dental habits that deserve much less lovely teeth. (Sorry, Mom, I did not inherit your made teeth-cleaning skills. But Amanda brings me my toothbrush with toothpaste on it quite often with a disapproving look you'd be proud of!)

So last week we went off on a mission: we were going to find a dentist office.

Thankfully, Thailand advertises everything with giant pictures... so we just drove down the road by my school until we saw a big cartoon tooth with a neon "open" sign. We walked in to make appointments.



The woman working behind the front desk was lovely and distraught that she had to make us wait. Unfortunately they were booked for the next 90 minutes and she asked us to come back in about an hour and a half.

AN HOUR AND A HALF.

They also had cute pillows. I was sold.



At home, I book appointments to get in to get my teeth cleaned months in advance. I was THRILLED when Kim managed to get me a spot with three weeks warning. We went back about an hour later (after a brief Pokemon Go excursion), because we're chronically early and the dentist was ready to see us.

We were in the dentist's chair for no more than 25 minutes each.

While waiting for Amanda (who went first), I watched Thai TV.



The oddest part of the whole experience was that here, they drape your face so only your mouth is showing. You just open wide and lay back for a nap because the dentist doesn't speak English conversationally, you don't speak Thai well enough to be understood through hands in your mouth, and there's a giant curtain over your face.

I can't comment on Amanda's experience, but the mask for me was very odd. It was also oddly heavy, rather like an x-ray vest. The funniest part of my experience was the dentist handing me a mirror to "show where big cavity is".

I grabbed the mirror and she pointed to two very large, black masses in the back of my molars. As they were not there two days ago, I knew they weren't cavities, but she didn't.

Laughing, I grabbed her cleaning utensil and went to town on my tooth.

She.

Looked.

Horrified.

But after about 10 seconds, I was holding the remnants of a passion-fruit seed and handed it to her saying "passion-fruit smoothie".

She laughed, laid me back down, and went to town digging the other one out. I won't lie, the little buggers were hiding very stealthily.

I made it out 3 minutes later with a clean bill of tooth health.



Amanda was not so lucky. Her 5 cavities she found out about in April had now gotten bigger. This was to be expected. We don't have access to fluorine and eat boatloads of sugar even when we don't want to. However, we wanted to nip it in the bud, so we went ahead and scheduled her for an appointment to have them filled, paid for our cleanings, and left.

Because they were closing for the new year, Amanda was booked for January 5th.

Total cost for 2 teeth cleanings? 1,830B (60USD). No insurance. No appointment. That's 30USD each.

Now, I love my home clinic in Rushford, but my cleaning there before I left the states was 175USD.

***

Time passed and finally this morning, Miss Pyfferoen went in to get her cavities filled. Her appointment was at 11:30. We got there at 11:25 and the dentist took her back at 11:35.

She was back out at 12:15 with five new fillings.

I was quite curious as to what was happening back there because not once, but twice, I heard small noises that I immediately recognized as Amanda's "that hurts but I'm trying really hard not to bitch about it" squeaks.

She looked at me squarely and said: "They don't do Novocaine. That was fun."

***

Here's where we take a brief break from the story for a quick message from my favorite "dental hygienist who makes me homemade caramel" aunt. This is in direct juxtaposition to my childhood dentist who only gives out sugar-free gum at Halloween.

I shot my aunt Cindy a message asking about pricing for cavity fillings. She got back to me almost immediately (thank you, social media).

I was looking for how much it would cost to get 5 surfaces on 4 back teeth done.

Some pretty easy math from AC later and we figured it would have been approximately 825USD. Amanda and I both agreed that this was a completely reasonable price back home. We've both had a cavity or two before (I have only had one as an adult and thankyouverymuch I would like to keep it that way), and this fit the budget both of us assumed it would be.

***

Propel your thoughts back to winter in Bangkok. It's over 100 degrees and humid... you know, casual winter.

So Amanda and I are sitting in the dentist's office getting prepped to be hit with about an 825USD bill.

I was kind of hoping that the same proportional math would work here as it did with the cleanings:

30:175 = x:825. x=142

A girl can dream that five surfaces can be filled for under 150USD, right?

It came in at 4,730B (157USD).

Dreams really do come true.

**

With that said, we'd like to give special thanks to my aunt Cindy for her quick numbers this evening and to our new Thai dental clinic for it's cheap and fantastic service. In future, we can recommend they get Novocaine.

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