Two years have passed since our moms dropped us off at MSP; it feels simultaneously like yesterday and a decade ago.
My mind has been reflecting lately on what an incredible opportunity this has been. My mind has also been reflecting on some of the not-so-sunny moments. I know you all want to hear about the amazing stuff which we post about a lot, but I wanted to share some of the sad stuff too.
Since moving to Thailand our collective of grandparents have been halved. When we moved we knew that there was an inevitability that we would lose grandparents while living over here. I will admit that I honestly didn't think it would happen. Dealing with loss from abroad is strange and different and not any easier than when you are home with your family.
Our first loss came in January 2020 when Genie's maternal grandmother died on her half-birthday. I only met her a few times. We had just started dating and as we were leaving her room she insisted on kissing Genie's butt. I thought it was rather humorous.
A little over a month later, two-days before my birthday, my maternal grandmother passed. I didn't handle it well at all. My family had been telling me that her health had been on a rapid decline and that she had finally agreed to move into an assisted living center. Then, very quickly, that turned into hospice and mere hours before being moved she passed away. We were about to head into our longer break between semesters and thought, maybe we could go home for this funeral...but then COVID reared its ugly head and we knew we couldn't go anywhere. I did as much as I could to help plan the funeral, organized a slew of theatre friends back home to sing and wrote a eulogy my brother was going to read. Ultimately, my grandpa decided it was better to not risk the spread of infection and canceled the funeral. I strongly supported his choice, some family members did not.
I often think about the last day I got to spend with my grandma. Our immediate families all congregated with us in Lanesboro for one last meal together. She and I sat next to each other at Pedal Pushers sharing fries and dousing them in ranch. When we hugged, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "I'm so proud of you." It's a good memory and one I will continue to treasure.
I still find days that are hard. I'll do something that reminds me of her and my mind will wander down a rabbit hole. I had a DQ blizzard as my 'last meal' before my first skin removal surgery because it was her favorite food group. I do wish she could see me know. I miss her but I know that she loved me and loved seeing me happy.
The rest of 2020 went as expected. Lockdowns, masks, social distancing. Eventually, Genie's maternal grandfather was moved into a hospice care facility. We'd get updates on how he was doing and Genie's mom would read our blogs and emails to him when she visited.
He passed at the end of April 2021. We had been told he wasn't eating much and that the end was near. He had a photo of us with Kathy when she came to visit us last year posted in his room. I thought that was sweet. I'll remember his smile and the stories he would tell us over dinner.
This is where I could put in some great epitaph or words from Elizabeth Kubler Ross about death and dying...but that seems too cliché.
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