There And Gone And Back Again! Culture Shock Edition! -G

For those of you who are unaware of the past two months, Amanda and I have just pulled off the greatest heist in our history. 

Think Jake and Amy pulling off the most epic Halloween Heist in Brooklyn 99. (Amanda made me spell out this whole TV show like you wouldn't understand B99 from the context of Jake and Amy.) Except this one involved multiple plane trips, immigration, quarantine, and working sneaky overnights.

**

It all started one evening when my school sent a message in early June saying that we would be online until the beginning of August due to Covid-19. Our first thought was: "this would be the perfect time to go home and get vaccinated. Could we make it happen?"

We started frantically researching and packing. Schools in Thailand do not like when people make decisions for themselves, so we knew we would have to be incredibly sneaky. 

48 hours later, we had negative Covid-19 tests, fit-to-fly certificates, plane tickets, bags packed, and after our classes got out on Friday afternoon we grabbed a taxi to the airport and set off back to America for the first time in over 2 years.

The flights were uneventful - but flying Japanese air does mean you get hot miso soup with every meal!

We arrived back in Minneapolis and were greeted by our mothers early Sunday morning (about 1am).

And so the charade began.

We socialized by afternoon, taught from 8pm-4am, and did our best to sleep during the day. By that, I mean we were incredibly sleep deprived and generally pretty cranky. So thank you for those of you who received slightly more sass than what was strictly necessary.

It was a horrific and bizarre schedule, but we were lucky. Nobody caught on.

On our second full day back, we got our first vaccinations. For the people living in the first world, this may not seem like a huge deal. You've had them readily available long enough for there to be lotteries and gift cards. But we're in the mindset of people who used to sit at a computer for hours hitting refresh in the hopes we could get INTO the vaccine lottery available in the 3rd world.

From there, we did our best to adapt back into the US. It was weird. 

1. First of all, there is no street food. 

Enough said. You cannot get liver on a stick at 8pm from a nice lady with a cart. What's even the point?

2. Secondly, everything is fried. 

Straight up, I gained over 15# in the amount of time we were home. And it wasn't for a lack of exercise. I actually got more physical activity there than I would normally in Thailand because we can't just go for walks here.

Portion sizes were also WILD. Most times when we went out to eat, Amanda and I would split something and we hardly ever finished it. And it wasn't because it wasn't delicious. There was also an overabundance of foods we aren't accustomed to: breads being the biggest oddity.

3. Third, driving was so different!

For the past two years, I've been driving a motorbike on the left side of the road - mostly. Traffic rules are very flexible ideas meant to keep traffic moving efficiently. 

Well tell that to the traffic on i90 when I almost pulled into the wrong lane instinctually. 

Also, Amanda can legally drive in the US!

Also, there was no zipping between traffic. You're 18th at a red light? Yep. You sure are and you're going to stay there. I definitely missed the thrill of whizzing past cars and carefully maneuvering my bike between trucks to get to the front of the line at every stoplight!

And to top it all off, I had to fill my own gas for the first time in over 2 years. You heard it here first, folks. I completely forgot how to fill up my own gas. 

4. We definitely have adapted to living in the tropics. 

Regardless of the fact we returned to Minnesota during what they called 'scorching hot weather', Amanda and I were still consistently cold and dry. 

My nose was constantly cracking from the lack of humidity while everyone we saw was complaining about how wet it was.

I don't think Amanda ever left the house without a sweater despite it being consistently in the 90s while we were home. 

There were several times we tried to go for walks during our "lunch" from school (midnight-1am) but it was FAR TOO COLD for either of us to stay out for long. 

The coldest we saw was 55 and we didn't even bother going out that night. We stayed inside, made hot cocoa, and curled up under a heated blanket. 

I'm. Not. Even. Kidding.

Then when it was nice and we went outside in the sunshine, I received several comments about the fact I was consistently in long, black pants and a long sleeved sweater.

Duah. Do you think I want this beautiful white skin to touch the sun? Do you think I can handle a cool breeze anymore? 

Absolutely not.

5. Why are y'all still shaking hands?

On no less than MANY occasions, I had people shake my hand - either as an introduction or an "I missed you". 

It was weird.

Did Covid-19 teach you nothing? Well, we taught many of you how to 'wai' (ceremonial Thai bow) because ... bleh ... TOUCHING people? No thank you!

6. People weren't wearing masks.

It felt odd to be the lone person wearing a mask and to not have them mandatory. We've been sporting them since Christmas 2019 because we had a bad pollution spike and then we went straight into Covid-19 masking. 

It was incredibly weird to not have to wear a mask everywhere - although for the most part we did anyway. It was also strange to see children without them. My entire last school year I only saw my children's faces during milk break and lunch. 

I think I saw more children's faces on our quick trip back than I did the entirety of last school year.

7. Eavesdropping made me absolutely exhausted. 

In Thailand, the language is not only foreign, but also rather sing-song. It makes it very easy to zone it out and loud crowds and traffic disappear into the background.

When you understand the language being spoken after 2 years of its absence, you notice every word. Your brain perks up every time you hear something in your native language. And because of that, my brain was being pinged constantly. 

Going to Target was absolutely exhausting.

**

Don't get us wrong, we had a blast seeing the people we love. We got to spend quality time with our families, friends, and most importantly: our friend's dogs. 

We feel incredibly lucky to have gotten to come back for vaccines as many of our friends and coworkers were unable. 

So please, if you haven't yet, go get vaccinated. 

Hyvee LITERALLY GIVES YOU A GIFT CARD.